tehén alapú gazdaságtan

COW BASED ECONOMIC LESSON

matek tanár kollégám, James T. Campbell

facebookjáról plagizálom az alábbi téziseket.

amerikai humor, de nyelvleckének sem rossz

SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have 2 cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.

VENTURE CAPITALISM

You have 2 cows.

You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all 4 cows back, with a tax exemption for 5 cows.

The milk rights of the 6 cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all 7 cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns 8 cows, with an option on one more.

You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with 9 cows.

No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.

AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have 2 cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of 4 cows.

Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

FRENCH CORPORATION

You have 2 cows.

You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you

want 3 cows.

JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have 2 cows.

You redesign them so they are 1/1o the size of an ordinary cow and produce 2o times the milk.

You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.

ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have 2 cows, but you don’t know where they are.

You decide to have lunch.

CHINESE CORPORATION

You have 2 cows.

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

You tell them that you have none.

No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.

You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have 2 cows.

Business seems pretty good.

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

megkérdeztem Jimet a facebookon,

hogy mi lesz a magyarokkal.

a válasz nem késett:

A HUNGARIAN

has 2 cows.

He’s depressed about it.

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